Morning Exercise 8-2-14: Word “Humility”

Choose a word and free-associate. Today: humility / (h)yo͞oˈmilitē / n. a disposition to be humble; a lack of false pride; a humble feeling.




Is that the best you can do?


My five-year-old son could draft a better definition than that.


Or my dog.


Lexicographers are idiots anyway.


They should all lose their jobs.


I’ve totally given up on dictionaries and thesauri. Waste of time. They all suck.


If it were I — and, yes, that’s the correct use of a subjective pronoun following a linking verb, which (not “that,” you schmuck, like I don’t know the difference between a restrictive and an unrestrictive clause) requires the subjunctive mood, dummy, in my unreal condition — America would lead the world again in defining the word “humility.”


Hell, I’m the most humble person I know. I was born humble. I live and breathe humility.


But I’m too busy working a real job to do their job, too.


Fools. Losers. Frauds.


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