Thinking Ahead

Catherine Coulson, the Enigmatic Log Lady of ‘Twin Peaks,’ Dies at 71

Arnold Klein, Dermatologist Who Smoothed Stars’ Wrinkles, Dies at 70

Paul West, Writer Who Shoveled Absurdity Into His Books, Dies at 85

Grace Lee Boggs, Human Rights Advocate for 7 Decades, Dies at 100

Dickie Moore, Child Actor Known for a Screen Kiss, Dies at 89

 

Not to be morbid or anything, but … a person gets to a certain age, and he begins to think about the difference between, say,

 

Dr. William E. Paul, Who Helped AIDS Research Save Millions of Lives, Dies at 79

 

and

 

Diepreye Alamieyeseigha, Nigerian Notorious for Corruption, Dies at 62

 

So bear with me as I try out a few possibilities:

 

66633276_1402535171

James Abbott, Who Eventually Got Used to Everyone Misspelling His Name, Kicks the Bucket

Jim Abbot — No, Not the Inspirational One-Handed Pitcher for the Yankees — Dies at 113

Jim Abbot, Frustrated Champion of Compulsory Latin in Schools, Requiescat in Pace

James C. Abbot Jr., After Lifetime of Being Alive, Dies at 99

James. C. ‘Thin Man’ Abbot Jr., Octogenarian Desperado, Goes Out in Blaze of Glory

Jim Abbot, Who Had a Crush on Lee Williamson in Third Grade, Has Finally Pined Away

 

This is harder than you’d think, actually.

 

James C. Abbot Jr., Hasty Flosser, Succumbs to Gingivitis

Jim Abbot, Self-Described ‘Great Humanitarian,’ Dies in Road Rage Incident

That Tree Guy Over in the Inman Park Neighborhood? Planted!

James Kilpatrick Carswell Abbot Jr. Expires, Victim of Too Many Names

Jim Abbot, Who Had Idea for Uberlike Business Even Before Al Gore Invented the Internet, Kaput

 

Hmm. More work to do on this. Hopefully, I have a lot of time. 😉

 

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