1. Look, I don’t know about you, but I think there should be some limits, okay? Live and let live — I get that. Far be it from me to tell others how to live their lives. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder — sure! People like what they like — absolutely! But if we don’t draw a line at egregious offenses against the foundational principles of civilization itself, at truly heinous crimes against good taste, then who are we, really? Animals? That’s why today I am stating unequivocally that Traces will never have anything to do with this salad topped with Fig Newton cookies and low-fat raspberry vinaigrette dressing.
2. Speaking of people liking what they like. If you like irony-inflected humor, along with the absurdity of a fake internet court dispensing justice to, say, a couple who can’t agree on whether to stack dirty dishes in or beside their kitchen sink, you should try out the podcast called “Judge John Hodgman” from Maximum Fun. Start with this episode — # 245: Live at SF Sketchfest 2016 — in which the judge takes up the case titled, “A Portrait of the Artist as a Weird Dad”: a son asks Hodgman to issue an injunction against his father’s routine of taping up bizarre pictures, torn from magazines, on the underside of the young man’s top bunk. To wit:
3. Speaking of weird, it’s definitely weird to think that on November 21, 1995, I took this person from a nurse and held him in the crook of my arm while he bawled like crazy.
4. Are you giving me some credit for not mentioning you-know-what and you-know-who? Whoops.
5. Back on weird dads for a moment. Check out “A Child’s Drawings Turned Into Realistic Imaginings of Animals, Cars, and People,” by his father, that is. From Colossal: