- Ten percent of all supposedly funny people are responsible for ninety percent of all genuine, laugh-out-loud humor.
- A lesson I will never learn: it’s almost never me. It’s almost always the other person. Nothing I did, nothing I failed to do. Just an individual who’s having a bad day or a bad life.
- The benefits of global climate change are overrated.
- Why is it that Jehovah’s Witnesses will walk by my house, see me on the front porch or in the yard, and just keep on walking? Oh, wait, I forgot about #2 again. Sigh.
- Remember, as a farmer once told Flannery O’Connor, her mother, and my own mother: if you ever want to give a chicken a good time, just throw it up in the air.
Cartoon by Adam Katzenstein, in The New Yorker.